What Friends Are For
by Chaotica
Summary: Takes place after 'And Then There Was Squee', Pepito tries to set Squee up with someone very 'interesting'.
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: SQUEE! and JTHM both belong to Johnen Vasquez! YAY! I don't own anything! YAY!  
Summary: Takes place after 'And Then There Was Squee', Pepito is in it too! YAY!  
  
What Friends Are For  
  
He sat silently in the empty swing set. For some reason he couldn't get away from this place. The school was such a part of his life that he wished it had burned down in the half a thousand fires Pepito had started in it.  
Squee kicked at the dirt. He wondered where the big headed anti-Christ child was. He was supposed to meet him half an hour ago.  
He looked up and saw a girl walking across the school ground. She was about a football fields distance away. She was some how familiar.   
The way she kept her head down, the color of her hair. It was unnerving.  
"You do know who that is don't you?"  
Squee turned to look behind him. "Pepito, do you have to sneak up on me all the time?"  
"Yes." Pepito said taking a seat in the next swing. He fell silent.  
"Okay so who is she?"  
The now taller anit-Christ sat up and rubbed his hands together. "She's the result of a one night stand between a lovely teenage vixen and your role model."  
"Johnny had a kid?"  
"A daughter!" Pepito said stressing the word. "You see shortly after that poor little wretch was conceived Johnny C. woke up in the house you now live in."  
"Is this why you told me to meet you here?" Squee asked skeptically.  
"Well, no, I actually wanted to know if you'd like to come see fathers' new basement design. But this works too."  
Squee watched the girl slip into some bushes and disappear. "So what's her name?"  
"Oh, you're going to love this. Her name is Jenny. She's a social outcast, no one knows who her father is so she's spared that. But she does have his, shall we say, tendencies?"   
"How did you find all this out?" Squee asked.  
Pepito gave him a sly look. "I have my sources."  
"In other words you followed her."  
"You have to give me points for my enthusiasm over this." He got out of his swing. "Todd, you're my friend, well as much as any one can be my friend. I was looking out for you when I got you out of that head-meat factory and I'm looking out for you now."  
"You still want me to join your fathers' evil army." He leaned forward leaning on his knees.  
"Oh yes that is another thing I needed to discuss with you. Turns out you couldn't join if you wanted to. You being a cosmic mistake and all that." Pepito said treating the matter as if it had no real importance. "And I would rather you not tell me what Shmee thinks of all of that either."  
"I think Shmee will stay out of this one."  
"Good, now, back to the girl."  
"Jenny." He mumbled the word. "What do you propose I do about her?"  
"Todd, has all that time in that shack wounded your sense of your human instincts? What do you think you do about a girl?"   
"That's not funny."  
"It wasn't supposed to be."  
Squee stood up. "You're proposing I go find her and start up a relationship?"  
"Nothing quite so rash as that. I just suggest that she might be a good person for you to be around." Pepito tried his best to look innocent but was pulling it off rather badly.  
"What do you get out of all of this?"  
He feigned surprise. "Me? Why Todd I'm hurt. You think I'm in this for personal gain?"  
"No, I know you're in it for personal gain. Shmee thinks so too."  
"Oh, I cannot believe this. I'm leaving. Oh, by the way." He grabbed Squee by his shoulder and spun him around. "She lives here."  
Squee regained his balance and realized that not only was he alone but he was across the street a small house crowed in with others. Pepito was no where to be seen.  
"That big-headed bull-horned pug-nosed bug-eyed freak is going to pay for this." He muttered.  
Some movement in the alley way between a few of the houses and she appeared. She glanced around warily spotting him. She ducked back into the alley.  
Perfect, she was already afraid of him.  
"Pepito, you know nothing of subtlety." He started to walk away. He'd talk to her later, but not while she felt venerable.   



	2. Part 2

A/N: Jenny is NOT, I repeat, NOT a Self Insertion. All characters I create serve a purpose to my plot design. So the next person to say she's a SI gets a nine iron shoved up their rectal orifice. Got It?  
  
What Friends Are For  
  
"Come on, you can't stand there and tell me you don't find her attractive." Pepito said casually.  
"You know I still have to pay you back for zapping me to her house like that. You know I don't like being zapped." Squee said rubbing his temples.   
Pepito shrugged. "I did what I felt would work."  
They were walking around down town like they always did. Sometimes Squees' trauma induced 'nature' would take over. But Pepito didn't mind, he often encouraged his companion to act out.  
"I don't like any of this."  
"But think of the possibilities! Someone to have as your own! Someone to hold you and make the pain cease!" He grinned. "Some one to love."  
Squee snorted. "You know as well as I do that I am not allowed anything like that. I'm not supposed to be here, remember?" He started to walk faster.  
Pepito had no trouble catching up. "Damn the fates, you can at least try."  
Squee glared at him. "I'm not going to do anything. She might be better off this way. Besides I tried all that before." He walked backwards to face Pepito. "Remember Rebecca?"  
A smirk appeared on the anti-Christs' lips. "Ah yes, I remember her. She was as sweet as they come. Well till she went out with you anyway." He let a thoughtful look cross his face. "I think she's afraid to go out now."  
"That is my point."  
"I still am not going to pay attention to your point and attempt to at least get you to talk to her." Pepito said. "Oh hey, look, here's a chance right now." He pushed Squee over.  
Squee lost his balance and fell into some one. It was a split second after he saw that Pepito was gone that he realized who he had been pushed into.  
"Get off me!" She yelled pushing at him.   
He got up awkwardly and held out a hand to help he up. She actually did look a lot like her father. The same rounded head, spiked hair. But her eyes, they were softer, paler, less tormented.  
He didn't apologize to her. He had gotten out of the habit of doing so a long time ago.  
She ignored his hand and stood up brushing herself off. "Great, not only am I late for work but I'm filthy too." She gave him a scathing look. "Thank you very much!" She stormed off leaving him alone.  
"Very smooth. I think she likes you."  
Squee glared at the re materialized Pepito. "If it were possible I'd kill you."  
"That's what I like about our relationship Todd. You laugh off everything I do to you, at you, against you. Well you get the idea."  
There was the faint sound of a blade being drawn.  
"Todd? Are you okay? Your eye is twitching. Why exactly are you coming at me with a knife in your hand like that?"  
"If I can't kill you, I'll maim you instead." Squee said through gritted teeth.  
"Well if that isn't my cue to leave." Pepito disappeared in a puff of smoke seconds before Squee reached for him.  
Squee smiled. At least he had gotten rid of him. Maybe now he could go home and listen to the screams of his 'guests' in peace.  
***  
Three days later Squee found himself in front of the bookstore Jenny worked at. He felt like a stalker. Not that he was. He was more of an admirer who didn't know he was one.  
Damn that Pepito. He was probably pulling a few strings with the fates to get Squee to feel anything towards Jenny.   
This was going to end in pain, he just knew it.  
Maybe if he drowned his sorrows in Cherry Brainfreezies and Peach Suck-o's...   
He glanced back up through he plate glass window of the bookstore. She was moving around shelving books and generally 'looking busy'.  
A shadow fell over him. "Oh now if this isn't just the picture of homicidal sweetness." Pepito said.  
"Okay, tell me what you did." Squee said turning back to watch Jenny.  
"What makes you think I did anything?"  
"Because I can't stop thinking about her! You had to have done something! You can get conniving when you want to."  
"Oh straight to the heart!"  
"You don't have a heart!"  
Pepito thought Squees' last comment over. "Okay, so what? I still didn't do anything. Maybe it's fate."  
"I don't have a fate. The fates know all and they told me I was doomed to be alone for eternity."  
"They didn't know about you at first and they didn't know you had that. What was he again? A Trauma Sponge? So, anyway, how could you not have a fate if you were fated to be alone for that laughable description of time?"  
Squee opened his mouth then shut it.   
"So you see my point."  
"No! No, I will not do this. I've ruined every girl I've ever come across. Johnny would gut me himself if I ever touched her." He stopped and saw Pepitos' reaction. He didn't look happy.   
Suddenly Shmee added something to the conversation.  
Squee squinted his eyes and sized his semi-friend up. "You made a bet on if I'd do it didn't you."  
"What? I, no! No, of course not." He glanced around.   
"Shmee was right, you did!" He pulled a knife again.  
"Now Todd. It's not all that bad." Pepito said as he backed away. "Hey! That saintly little freak Marco down the street from me provoked me! So I made a bet, big deal! I was protecting the Diablo name!"  
"Who is she really?" Squee demanded.  
"I told you the truth! She's his kid! I got to choose the girl. I figured the only living daughter of that homicidal wreak you followed would be someone you couldn't resist." He crossed his arms. "Looks like I was wrong."  
"Pepito, if you ever do something like this again, I will gut you like the pig you resemble and keep doing it every time you come back."  
"Now Todd, I know you don't mean that."  
One of Squees' eyes got bigger than the other. "Push me, I dare you."  
"Okay then, I'll just wait for you to cool off." He disappeared in the usual puff of smoke.  
***  
Back in the bookstore Jenny glanced warily at Squee who was now waving away purplish smoke. She raised an eyebrow then shook her head. The people in this town got stranger and stranger. Not to mention more annoying by the hour.  
"Oh come on! Look at him! He's cute!"  
"Maria, I don't care what you say. The guy ran into me a few days ago, now he's stalking me. So no."  
The sort of smallish Hispanic girl called Maria sighed. "You are gonna wind up like Devi, I swear."  
"Like who?"  
Maria straightened up. "Oh, she's a, uh, Saint. Yeah."  
Jenny stared at her newly acquired friend blankly. "Whatever. Are you going to just sit there and watch those books leap on the shelves?"  
Maria shrugged and picked up a box. She started to shelve the books and paused every now and then to make sure the three little sixes that were just inside her hairline stayed covered.  
"This is going to be harder than I thought." 'Maria' muttered as 'she' got to work.  



	3. Part 3

What Friends Are For  
  
Squee propped his feet up on a chair as he sat on his couch. He hadn't been out of his house for over a week. The only person he had talked to was that little neighbor kid Id.   
He flipped through pages of a book underlining here, blacking out there. He had gone through about seventeen pages like that when someone knocked on the door.  
"Go away Pepito." He said not even bothering to look up.  
"Come on mi Amigo! You should come out here! Let's go out, have some fun! I hear they opened a new dance club down the street!" Pepito said through the door. "You like going through new territory!"  
"I'm not coming out." Squee said turning the page. He blacked out three paragraphs with a permanent marker.  
"Is this about that girl?" There was a pause from the big-headed male outside. "You like her! I knew it! Ha! In your face Marco!"  
Squee quirked an eyebrow at the closed door. "Go to hell Pepito."  
There was an amused 'heh' sound from behind the door. "Are you telling the 'Anti-Christ' to go to Hell?" Pepito asked.  
"Fine, then go to Heaven." He underlined two words and blacked out around them.  
"For shame Todd!" Pepito tapped on the door. "I'll forgive you if you come out and wreak some havoc with me."  
"Do I have to remind you about the fact that you would feel pain if I were to stab your head? That is if could get a blade through your thick skull." Squee said turning a page. "Now go away, I'm being reclusive over here."  
There was a long pause outside. "No, I'm going to keep bothering you till you come out."  
Squee got up leaving his book on the couch. He walked softly to one of the stairways that lead down. He wondered how long Pepito would stand there until he figured out he had left.  
He just kept going down till he couldn't hear Pepito ranting anymore. But new sounds came to him.  
Screams of his modest collection bellow. He had discovered that at one time there had been a total of three-hundred and forty-five people held here. It was actually capable of holding many more but Nny had been only one person. Squee had only about twelve, but he had time yet.  
He found himself in a small brightly lit room with a pink haired girl whos' makeup had dripped off with sweat long ago. She looked up at him with bleary eyes and a whimper.  
She had made the mistake of trying to break into his house. Normally he would have disposed of an intruder immediately. But she had slipped as he had struck at her. He had only knocked her out so he had taken advantage of the situation and locked her up instead.   
"Hello." He said quietly to her.  
She only whimpered again.  
"Does so little sleep really hurt you that much?" He asked. "I myself rarely sleep anymore. Nightmares are the only thing I get to see." He crouched down against one wall.  
He had left on all the lights, even brought in a few to the room. Every once in a while he'd come down and leave a radio blaring uneven sounds of clangs and screams to keep her up. She'd been like this for over a month now.  
"Only one time did I ever sleep without a nightmare." He said with a bit of nostalgia in his voice.  
The girl blinked at him. This wasn't the first time he had come in to just talk like this. She thought he was rather well spoken for a homicidal maniac. Three weeks ago she had said just that. His reply had been 'Nny got to be an artist with image, I got to be an artist with words'. Whatever the hell that was supposed to have meant.  
"She used to work at a bookstore." He went on. "I don't remember her name but she had this short black hair and a mole on her left cheek. She was so nice to me."  
The girl listened without much of a fight. She was near delirium with too little rest. In fact she was starting to hallucinate and kept thinking she saw a thin shadow in the room every once in awhile. Sometimes it was a floating bunny head.  
"She let me just pick up a book and read it in a corner. One time she even read to me. 'Jack and the Beanstalk' was what it was. Normally that story would have terrified me. But the way she read it, it was actually kind of nice."  
The shadows came back to her. His voice lost meaning and became a steady hum. The thin one flitted around the room, the little bunny head followed it.  
Squee sat down on the floor all the way and pulled his knees up to his chin. He could see the girl wasn't listening but it didn't matter anymore. He was remembering someone important.  
"I was reading a nice little story called 'The Giving Tree' when I had fallen asleep. Curled up in the chair she had set up for me in the corner. When I woke up I found she had given me a blanket."  
The girl turned her head feverishly as the thin shadow took on a human-ish form. She heard the sound of metal on metal. A familiar sound in this little piece of hell. The sound of knives being struck on each other.  
"I also remember hearing her humming as she put some books on a shelf. She was an angel. A real person. Not one of those pretend things that walks and talks. But a person." He watched the girl glance around wildly and listened to her quickened breathing. "Now I've seen another one. An angel among the books."  
The shadow reached at her. She pulled away and yelped. It was so cold!  
"But I can't get close. I'd only break her." Squee said. He was surprised when the girl started to cry.  
The shadows eyes glowed white as it finally stood directly in front of her. She cried. It was the only thing she had left to do. The shadow lifted a knife...  
"I can only stay away. That's all I have left to do."  
She shrieked and struggled against her bindings. Her chair tipped over and she gave a last gurgle sound before she expired.  
Squee sat there a moment. He finally stood up and knelt down beside her body. Her throat was bruised on the front, but he had never touched it. He sometimes found them like that. Dead for no reason.  
But there was a reason. The house couldn't let go of what it once had. Or if it wasn't the house then 'someone' in the house couldn't let them live for too long. If Squee didn't kill them it would.  
It didn't really matter. He had worked some things out and actually felt better. He'd get rid of the body later. He had other things to tend to and hopefully Pepito was already gone.  



End file.
